I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
