So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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