I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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