walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
