It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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