Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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