It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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