Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
