so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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