my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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