Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
