I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
