It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
