I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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