He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
