Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
