White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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