Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Im part way to drunk.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize