Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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