she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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