At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
