I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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