Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
A bitchslap is in order.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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