are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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