I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
