i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize