I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
