Kiss
Puke
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
the liver wants what the liver wants
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
