i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
