Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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