look no pants
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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