Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
