McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
