I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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