Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I look better un-naked...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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