I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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