We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize