Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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