If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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