Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
