Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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