I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
