If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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