Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
