So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
false alarm, still single
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
