I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Randomize
