I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
