Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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