I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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