he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
