I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
