Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
