Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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