And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I would fuck him just for his dog
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
