When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
