Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
