Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
