i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
