Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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